Atmarpana Stuti in English:
॥ ātmārpaṇa stuti ॥
kastē bōddhuṁ prabhavati paraṁ dēvadēva prabhāvaṁ
yasmāditthaṁ vividharacanā sr̥ṣṭirēṣā babhūva |
bhaktigrāhyastvamiha tadapi tvāmahaṁ bhaktimātrāt
stōtuṁ vāñchāmyatimahadidaṁ sāhasaṁ mē sahasva || 1 ||
kṣityādīnāmavayavavatāṁ niścitaṁ janma tāvat
tannāstyēva kvacana kalitaṁ kartradhiṣṭhānahīnam |
nādhiṣṭhātuṁ prabhavati jaḍō nāpyanīśaśca bhāvaḥ
tasmādādyastvamasi jagatāṁ nātha jānē vidhātā || 2 ||
indraṁ mitraṁ varuṇamanilaṁ padmajaṁ viṣṇumīśaṁ
prāhustē tē paramaśiva tē māyayā mōhitāstvām |
ētaiḥ sārdhaṁ sakalamapi yacchaktilēśē samāptaṁ
sa tvaṁ dēvaḥ śr̥tiṣu viditaḥ śambhurityādidēvaḥ || 3 ||
ānandābdhēḥ kimapi ca ghanībhāvamāsthāya rūpaṁ
śaktyā sārdhaṁ paramamumayā śāśvataṁ bhōgamicchan |
adhvātītē śucidivasakr̥tkōṭidīprē kapardin
ādyē sthānē viharasi sadā sēvyamānō gaṇēśaiḥ || 4 ||
tvaṁ vēdāntairvividhamahimā gīyasē viśvanētaḥ
tvaṁ viprādyairvarada nikhilairijyasē karmabhiḥ svaiḥ |
tvaṁ dr̥ṣṭānuśravikaviṣayānandamātrāvitr̥ṣṇaiḥ
antargranthipravilayakr̥tē cintyasē yōgibr̥ndaiḥ || 5 ||
dhyāyantastvāṁ katicana bhavaṁ dustaraṁ nistaranti
tvatpādābjaṁ vidhivaditarē nityamārādhayantaḥ |
anyē varṇāśramavidhiratāḥ pālayantastvadājñāṁ
sarvaṁ hitvā bhavajalanidhāvēṣa majjāmi ghōrē || 6 ||
utpadyāpi smarahara mahatyuttamānāṁ kulē:’smin
āsvādya tvanmahimajaladhērapyahaṁ śīkarāṇūn |
tvatpādārcavimukhahr̥dayaścāpalādindriyāṇāṁ
vyagrastucchēṣvahaha jananaṁ vyarthayāmyēṣa pāpaḥ || 7 ||
arkadrōṇaprabhr̥tikusumairarcanaṁ tē vidhēyaṁ
prāpyaṁ tēna smarahara phalaṁ mōkṣasāmrājyalakṣmīḥ |
ētajjānannapi śiva śiva vyarthayankālamātman
ātmadrōhī karaṇavivaśō bhūyasādhaḥ patāmi || 8 ||
kiṁ vā kurvē viṣamaviṣayasvairiṇā vairiṇāhaṁ
baddhaḥ svāmin vapuṣi hr̥dayagranthinā sārdhamasmin |
ukṣṇā darpajvarabharajuṣā sākamēkatra naddhaḥ
śrāmyanvatsaḥ smarahara yugē dhāvatā kiṁ karōtu || 9 ||
nāhaṁ rōddhuṁ karaṇanicayaṁ durnayaṁ pārayāmi
smāraṁ smāraṁ janipatharujaṁ nātha sīdāmi bhītyā |
kiṁ vā kurvē kimucitamiha kvādya gacchāmi hanta
tvatpādābjaprapadanamr̥tē naiva paśyāmyupāyam || 10 ||
ullaṅghyājñāmuḍupatikalācūḍa tē viśvavandya
tyaktācāraḥ paśuvadadhunā muktalajjaścarāmi |
ēvaṁ nānāvidhabhavatatiprāptadīrghāparādhaḥ
klēśāmbhōdhiṁ kathamahamr̥tē tvatprasādāttarēyam || 11 ||
kṣāmyasyēva tvamiha karuṇāsāgaraḥ kr̥tsnamāgaḥ
saṁsārōtthaṁ giriśa sabhayaprārthanādainyamātrāt |
yadyapyēvaṁ pratikalamahaṁ vyaktamāgassahasraṁ
kurvan mūkaḥ kathamiva tathā nistrapaḥ prārthayēyam || 12 ||
sarvaṁ kṣēptuṁ prabhavati janaḥ saṁsr̥tiprāptamāgaḥ
cētaḥ śvāsapraśamasamayē tvatpadābjē nidhāya |
tasminkālē yadi mama manō nātha dōṣatrayārtaṁ
prajñāhīnaṁ purahara bhavēt tatkathaṁ mē ghaṭēta || 13 ||
prāṇōtkrāntivyatikaradalatsandhibandhē śarīrē
prēmāvēśaprasaradamitākranditē bandhuvargē |
antaḥ prajñāmapi śiva bhajannantarāyairanantaiḥ
āviddhō:’haṁ tvayi kathamimāmarpayiṣyāmi buddhim || 14 ||
adyaiva tvatpadanalinayōrarpayāmyantarātman
ātmānaṁ mē saha parikarairadrikanyādhinātha |
nāhaṁ bōddhuṁ śiva tava padaṁ nakriyā yōgacaryāḥ
kartuṁ śaknōmyanitaragatiḥ kēvalaṁ tvāṁ prapadyē || 15 ||
yaḥ sraṣṭāraṁ nikhilajagatāṁ nirmamē pūrvamīśaḥ
tasmai vēdānadita sakalānyaśca sākaṁ purāṇaiḥ |
taṁ tvāmādyaṁ gurumahamasāvātmabuddhiprakāśaṁ
saṁsārārtaḥ śaraṇamadhunā pārvatīśaṁ prapadyē || 16 ||
brahmādīn yaḥ smarahara paśūnmōhapāśēna baddhvā
sarvānēkaścidacidadhikaḥ kārayitvā:’:’tmakr̥tyam |
yaścaitēṣu svapadaśaraṇānvidyayā mōcayitvā
sāndrānandaṁ gamayati paraṁ dhāma taṁ tvām prapadyē || 17 ||
bhaktāgryāṇāṁ kathamapi parairyō:’cikitsyāmamartyaiḥ
saṁsārākhyāṁ śamayati rujaṁ svātmabōdhauṣadhēna |
taṁ sarvādhīśvara bhavamahādīrghatīvrāmayēna
kliṣṭō:’haṁ tvāṁ varada śaraṇaṁ yāmi saṁsāravaidyam || 18 ||
dhyātō yatnādvijitakaraṇairyōgibhiryō vimr̥gyaḥ
tēbhyaḥ prāṇōtkramaṇasamayē sannidhāyātmanaiva |
tadvyācaṣṭē bhavabhayaharaṁ tārakaṁ brahma dēvaḥ
taṁ sēvē:’haṁ giriśa satataṁ brahmavidyāguruṁ tvām || 19 ||
dāsō:’smīti tvayi śiva mayā nityasiddhaṁ nivēdyaṁ
jānāsyētat tvamapi yadahaṁ nirgatiḥ sambhramāmi |
nāstyēvānyanmama kimapi tē nātha vijñāpanīyaṁ
kāruṇyānmē śaraṇavaraṇaṁ dīnavr̥ttērgr̥hāṇa || 20 ||
brahmōpēndraprabhr̥tibhirapi svēpsitaprārthanāya
svāminnagrē ciramavasarastōṣayadbhiḥ pratīkṣyaḥ |
drāgēva tvāṁ yadiha śaraṇaṁ prārthayē kīṭakalpaḥ
tadviśvādhīśvara tava kr̥pāmēva viśvasya dīnē || 21 ||
karmajñānapracayamakhilaṁ duṣkaraṁ nātha paśyan
pāpāsaktaṁ hr̥dayamapi cāpārayansannirōddhum |
saṁsārākhyē purahara mahatyandhakūpē viṣīdan
hastālamba prapatanamidaṁ prāpyatē nirbhayōsmi || 22 ||
tvāmēvaikaṁ hatajanipathē pānthamasmin- prapañcē
matvā janmapracayajaladhēḥ bibhyataḥ pāraśūnyāt |
yattē dhanyāḥ suravara mukhaṁ dakṣiṇaṁ saṁśrayanti
kliṣṭaṁ ghōrē ciramiha bhavē tēna māṁ pāhi nityam || 23 ||
ēkō:’si tvaṁ śiva janimatāmīśvarō bandhamuktyōḥ
klēśāṅgārāvaliṣu luṭhataḥ kā gatistvāṁ vinā mē |
tasmādasminniha paśupatē ghōrajanmapravāhē
khinnaṁ dainyākaramatibhayaṁ māṁ bhajasva prapannam || 24 ||
yō dēvānāṁ prathamamaśubhadrāvakō bhaktibhājāṁ
pūrvaṁ viśvādhika śatadhr̥tiṁ jāyamānaṁ maharṣiḥ |
dr̥ṣṭyāpaśyatsakalajagatīsr̥ṣṭisāmarthyadātryā
sa tvaṁ granthipravilayakr̥tē vidyayā yōjayāsmān || 25 ||
yadyākāśaṁ śubhada manujāścarmavadvēṣṭayēyuḥ
duḥkhasyāntaṁ tadapi puruṣastvāmavijñāya naiti |
vijñānaṁ ca tvayi śiva r̥tē tvatprasādānna labhyaṁ
tadduḥkhārtaḥ kamiha śaraṇaṁ yāmi dēvaṁ tvadanyam || 26 ||
kiṁ gūḍhārthairakr̥takavacōgumbhanaiḥ kiṁ purāṇaiḥ
tantrādyairvā puruṣamatibhirdurnirūpyaikamatyaiḥ |
kiṁ vā śāstrairaphalakalahōllāsamātrapradhānaiḥ
vidyā vidyēśvara kr̥tadhiyāṁ kēvalaṁ tvatprasādāt || 27 ||
pāpiṣṭō:’haṁ viṣayacapalaḥ santatadrōhaśālī
kārpaṇyaikasthiranivasatiḥ puṇyagandhānabhijñaḥ |
yadyapyēvaṁ tadapi śaraṇaṁ tvatpadābjaṁ prapannaṁ
nainaṁ dīnaṁ smarahara tavōpēkṣituṁ nātha yuktam || 28 ||
ālōcyaivaṁ mayi yadi bhavānnātha dōṣānanantān
asmatpādāśrayaṇapadavīṁ nārhatīti kṣipēnmām |
adyaivēmaṁ śaraṇavirahādviddhi bhītyaiva naṣṭaṁ
grāmō gr̥hṇātyahitatanayaṁ kiṁ nu mātrā nirastam || 29 ||
kṣantavyaṁ vā nikhilamapi mē bhūtabhāvi vyalīkaṁ
durvyāpārapravaṇamathavā śikṣaṇīyaṁ manō mē |
na tvēvārtyā niratiśayayā tvatpadābjaṁ prapannaṁ
tvadvinyastākhilabharamamuṁ yuktamīśa prahātum || 30 ||
sarvajñastvaṁ niravadhikr̥pāsāgaraḥ pūrṇaśaktiḥ
kasmādēnaṁ na gaṇayasi māmāpadabdhau nimagnam |
ēkaṁ pāpātmakamapi rujā sarvatō:’tyantadīnaṁ
jantuṁ yadyuddharasi śiva kastāvatātiprasaṅgaḥ || 31 ||
atyantārtivyathitamagatiṁ dēva māmuddharēti
kṣuṇṇō mārgastva śiva purā kēna vā:’nāthanātha |
kāmālambē bata tadadhikāṁ prārthanārītimanyāṁ
trāyasvainaṁ sapadi kr̥payā vastutattvaṁ vicintya || 32 ||
ētāvantaṁ bhramaṇanicayaṁ prāpitō:’yaṁ varākaḥ
śrāntaḥ svāminnagatiradhunā mōcanīyastvayāham |
kr̥tyākr̥tyavyapagatamatirdīnaśākhāmr̥gō:’yaṁ
santāḍyainaṁ daśanavivr̥tiṁ paśyatastē phalaṁ kim || 33 |
mātā tātaḥ suta iti samābadhya māṁ mōhapāśai-
rāpātyaivaṁ bhavajalanidhau hā kimīśa tvayāptam |
ētāvantaṁ samayamiyatīmārtimāpāditē:’smin
kalyāṇī tē kimiti na kr̥pā kāpi mē bhāgyarēkhā || 34 ||
bhuṅkṣē guptaṁ bata sukhanidhiṁ tāta sādhāraṇaṁ tvaṁ
bhikṣāvr̥ttiṁ paramabhinayanmāyayā māṁ vibhajya |
maryādāyāḥ sakalajagatāṁ nāyakaḥ sthāpakastvaṁ
yuktaṁ kiṁ tadvada vibhajanaṁ yōjayasvātmanā mām || 35 ||
na tvā janmapralayajaladhēruddharāmīti cēddhīḥ
āstāṁ tanmē bhavatu ca janiryatra kutrāpi jātau |
tvadbhaktānāmanitarasukhaiḥ pādadhūlīkiśōraiḥ
ārabdhaṁ mē bhavatu bhagavan bhāvi sarvaṁ śarīram || 36 ||
kīṭā nāgāstarava iti vā kiṁ na santi sthalēṣu
tvatpādāmbhōruhaparimalōdvāhimandānilēṣu |
tēṣvēkaṁ vā sr̥ja punarimaṁ nātha dīnārtihārin
ātōṣānmāṁ mr̥ḍa bhavamahāṅgaranadyāṁ luṭhantam || 37 ||
kālē kaṇṭhasphuradasukalālēśasattāvalōka-
vyagrōdagravyasanisakalasnigdharuddhōpakaṇṭhē |
antastōdairavadhirahitāmārtimāpadyamānē-
:’pyaṅghridvandvē tava niviśatāmantarātman mamātmā || 38 ||
antarbāṣpākulitanayanānantaraṅgānapaśyan
agrē ghōṣaṁ ruditabahulaṁ kātarāṇāmaśr̥ṇvan |
atyutkrāntiśramamagaṇayannantakālē kapardin
aṅghridvandvē tavaniviśatāmantarātman mamātmā || 39 ||
cārusmērānanasarasijaṁ candrarēkhāvataṁsaṁ
phullanmallīkusumakalikādāmasaubhāgyacōram |
antaḥ paśyāmyacalasutayā ratnapīṭhē niṣaṇṇaṁ
lōkātītaṁ satataśivadaṁ rūpamaprākr̥taṁ tē || 40 ||
svapnē vāpi svarasavikasaddivyapaṅkēruhābhaṁ
paśyēyaṁ kiṁ tava paśupatē pādayugmaṁ kadācit |
kvāhaṁ pāpaḥ kva tava caraṇālōkabhāgyaṁ tathāpi
pratyāśāṁ mē ghaṭayati punarviśrutā tē:’nukampā || 41 ||
bhikṣāvr̥ttiṁ cara pitr̥vanē bhūtasaṅghairbhramēdaṁ
vijñātaṁ tē caritamakhilaṁ vipralipsōḥ kapālin |
āvaikuṇṭhadruhiṇamakhilaprāṇināmīśvarastvaṁ
nātha svapnē:’pyahamiha na tē pādapadmaṁ tyajāmi || 42 ||
ālēpanaṁ bhasitamāvasathaḥ śmaśānaṁ
asthīni tē satatamābharaṇāni santu |
nihnōtumīśa sakalaśrutipārasiddhaṁ
aiśvaryamambujabhavō:’pi ca na kṣamastē || 43 ||
vividhamapi guṇaughaṁ vēdayantvarthavādāḥ
parimitavibhavānāṁ pāmarāṇāṁ surāṇām |
tanuhimakaramaulē tāvatā tvatparatvē
kati kati jagadīśāḥ kalpitā nō bhavēyuḥ || 44 ||
vihara pitr̥vanē vā viśvapārē purē vā
rajatagiritaṭē vā ratnasānusthalē vā |
diśa bhavadupakaṇṭhaṁ dēhi mē bhr̥tyabhāvaṁ
paramaśiva tava śrīpādukāvāhakānām || 45 ||
balamabalamamīṣāṁ balvajānāṁ vicintyaṁ
kathamapi śiva kālakṣēpamātrapradhānaiḥ |
nikhilamapi rahasyaṁ nātha niṣkr̥ṣya sākṣāt
sarasijabhavamukhyaiḥ sādhitaṁ naḥ pramāṇam || 46 ||
na kiñcinmēnē:’taḥ samabhilaṣaṇīyaṁ tribhuvanē
sukhaṁ vā duḥkhaṁ vā mama bhavatu yadbhāvi bhagavan |
samunmīlatpāthōruhakuharasaubhāgyamuṣitē
padadvandvē cētaḥ paricayamupēyānmama sadā || 47 ||
udarabharaṇamātraṁ sādhyamuddiśya nīcē-
ṣvasakr̥dupanibaddhāmāhitōcchiṣṭabhāvām |
ahamiha nutibhaṅgīmarpayityōpahāraṁ
tava caraṇasarōjē tātajātō:’parādhī || 48 ||
sarvaṁ sadāśiva sahasva mamāparādhaṁ
magnaṁ samuddhara mahatyamumāpadabdhau |
sarvātmanā tava padāmbujamēva dīnaḥ
svāminnananyaśaraṇaḥ śaraṇaṁ prapadyē || 49 ||
ātmārpaṇastutiriyaṁ bhagavannibaddhā
yadyapyananyamanasā na mayā tathāpi |
vācāpi kēvalamayaṁ śaraṇaṁ vr̥ṇītē
dīnō varāka iti rakṣa kr̥pānidhē mām || 50 ||
iti ātmārpaṇastutiḥ sampūrṇā |
Atmarpana Stuti Meaning:
1. O Lord of lords, Who can know the extent of Your supreme glory, You from whom this multifarious creation has emerged! You are attainable only through devotion, and so I wish to praise You only out of devotion. Be so kind as to pardon this rashness on my part.
2. The earth and other things that are made up of parts certainly have an origin. They are nowhere found to be without a creator and a material cause. Neither an inert object nor one who is powerless (like the jiva) is capable of creation. Therefore I know that You, Who alone existed before creation (Adyah), are the creator of the universe, O Lord.
3. O Paramashiva! Deluded by Your maya, people speak variously of Indra, Mitra, Varuna, vayu, Brahma, Vishnu, as the cause of the universe. Everything, including these, is but a fraction of Your power. O Lord, You are known in the vedas as shambhu, the supreme Lord.
4. Taking on an indescribable solidified form of the ocean of Bliss, desiring eternal supreme enjoyment with Your consort Uma, O Lord with matted hair, You ever sport in the primordial place, beyond the reach of speech and mind, which shines like a crore of suns and moons, served by the lords of the ganas.
(The idea brought out here is that Brahman who is pure Bliss and without form takes a form by his maya for blessing devotees, as stated in Shankara Bhagavatpada’s bhashya on Brahma sutra 1. 1. 20.)
5. O Lord of the Universe! Your innumerable glories are 101 sung in the upaniShads.. O Bestower of boons, You are worshipped by Brahmanas and others by the performance of the rites assigned to them. You are meditated upon by yogis who have developed distaste for all enjoyments in this world and in other (higher) worlds, for the loosening of the internal knot (of bondage).
6. Some cross over this transmigratory existence which is very difficult to cross by meditating on You, others by always worshipping Your lotus-feet in the manner laid down in the scriptures and yet others, who are devoted to the rules of varNa and Ashrama by obeying Your commands in that respect. Not following any of these paths, I am being submerged in the terrible ocean of samsara.
7. O Destroyer of Cupid! In spite of having been born in this lineage of great men,and having imbibed some drops of the ocean of Your glories, with my mind turned away from the worship of Your feet, and because of the fickleness of my senses, alas! I, this sinner, am engaged in trifles and am making my birth futile.
8. Your worship can be performed even with wild flowers such as arka and drona. By that the supreme bliss of liberation can be attained, O destroyer of Cupid. In spite of knowing this, alas! I, traitor to myself, am wasting my time, being under the control of my senses, and am falling lower and lower, O supreme Self!
9. What can I do! O Lord, in this body I am bound by the objects of sense which are uncontrollable along with the knots of the heart (the vasanas). How can a calf, in spite of its best efforts, cope with an extremely haughty bull running very fast when the two are yoked together, O Slayer of Cupid!
10. I am not able to control the wayward senses. Thinking again and again of the sufferings of transmigratory existence I tremble with fear, O Lord! What should I do, what is the proper thing to do here, where shall I go now, alas! I do not see any means other than total surrender at Your lotus feet.
11. O Lord wearing the crescent moon on Your forehead and worshipped by the whole world! Transgressing Your commands, giving up all good conduct, I am now going about shamelessly like an animal. Having thus committed so many kinds of transgressions arising from this mundane existence, how can I cross over this ocean of sorrow but for Your grace.
12. You, O Lord Girisha, ocean of compassion, will certainly forgive all the sins which have arisen due to this transmigratory state if one merely prays for forgiveness in fear. Even though this is so, still, clearly committing thousands of sins every moment and so being like one become dumb (by shame), how can I pray shamelessly!
13. One can become free from all sins incurred during worldly life if one fixes his mind on Your lotus feet at the moment of death. If, at that time my mind is afflicted by the three evils (Adhyatmika, Adhibhautika and Adhidaivika—those arising from one’s own body, those arising from surroundings and those arising from acts of God like earthquake, flood, etc.) and becomes devoid of consciousness, O Destroyer of the three cities (or destroyer of the gross, subtle and causal bodies by conferring liberation), how will that (fixing my mind on Your lotus feet) be possible for me?
14. At the time life leaves my body, and all my limbs have become weak, and my relatives cry uncontrollably out of affection for me, even if I am conscious, O Lord, how can I concentrate my mind on You when distracted by so many obstructions!
15. O Indwelling Self! I surrender myself along with my descendents at Your lotus feet now itself, O Lord of the Daughter of the Mountain! I cannot know Your nature (which is Existence-Consciousness-Bliss); nor am I capable of performing the vedic rituals or yoga practices. Being without any other means, I take refuge in You alone.
16. I, tormented by this transmigratory existence, now take refuge in You, the Lord who first created the Creator of all the worlds (Brahma) and imparted to him the Vedas along with the puranas, who are the Lord of Goddess pArvatI, the primordial Guru who confer self knowledge.
17. I surrender myself to You, O Destroyer of Cupid, who are the only One and beyond all animate and inanimate, who have tied down with the rope of delusion all beings from Brahma downwards, and made them do Your work, who release from bondage by conferring self-knowledge those who take refuge in You and make them attain the state of supreme bliss.
18. O Lord of all! All other gods are absolutely incapable of relieving even the greatest of devotees from the affliction of transmigration. But You cure this disease by the medicine of Self-knowledge. I am suffering from the severe disease of long268 standing samsara and so I take refuge in You, the dispeller of the disease of samsara.
19. O Girisha! I worship You, the guru who imparts Brahmavidya, who are meditated on strenuously and sought after by yogis who have controlled their senses, before whom You appear Yourself at the time of death and impart the taraka mantra which removes all fear of transmigration,
20. I have to submit before You the well established fact that I am Your servant, O shiva! You also know that I am despairing without any means of escape. There is nothing else that I have to submit before You, O Lord. Out of compassion kindly accept the surrender of this miserable one.
21. O Lord, even Brahma, Vishnu and other gods have to wait long before You propitiating You, seeking an opportunity to pray for the fulfillment of their desires. I, who am only like a worm. pray for quick refuge in You, only because of my faith in Your compassion, O Lord of the universe.
22. O Lord, seeing that the paths of karma and janana are difficult, and being unable to control my mind which is inclined towards sin, suffering in the great bottomless pit that is samsara, O Lord Shiva, I am now free from fear, having surrendered myself into Your supporting hands.
23. Frightened by this shoreless ocean of births, I am suffering intensely for long. Knowing that You are the only companion in this world that is a path of terrible suffering due to repeated births and deaths, I beseech You to protect me always with Your face turned towards the south which the fortunate ones (the great sages) take refuge in, O greatest of gods.
24. O Shiva, You alone are the controller of the bondage and liberation of those who are subject to birth. What refuge is there other than You for me who am wallowing in the embers of suffering! Therefore, O Pashupati, save me who am suffering in this terrible torrent of transmigratory existence which is the most dreadful repository of all misery.
25. O Lord who are beyond this universe, You who are the foremost among the gods to eliminate all inauspiciousness (suffering) of devotees, who are the great seer who cast your glance capable of creating the whole universe on Brahma (the four-faced God) on his birth, be kind enough to endow me with knowledge for loosening the knot of bondage. (This is based on the shruti, taitt.up. 4. 12-13).
26. O Bestower of good! Even if men can roll up the sky like a sheet of leather, man will not be able to end all sorrow without
knowing You. Knowledge of You cannot be attained without Your grace. So I who am overcome by sorrow, which god can seek refuge in other than You! (This is based on shvetAshvatara Upanishad, 7.20).
27. What is the use of the collection of words which are uncreated by any one (apauruSheya) and whose meaning is hidden (the vedas), or the puranas or the tantra which are difficult for the human intelligence to understand! What is the use of the shAstras which indulge only in futile disputes! For those whose minds are fixed on You, knowledge is attainable by Your grace alone, O Lord of knowledge.
28. I am the worst among sinners, fickle-minded towards sense-objects, always harming myself (by looking upon my body-mind complex as my self), the very abode of all weaknesses, and ignorant of even the scent of meritorious actions. Even though this is so, it is not proper for You to reject this miserable one who has surrendered himself at Your lotus feet, O Lord, Destroyer of Cupid.
Note- The term ‘Atmadrohi’ here is based on the following well known shloka, the source of which is not available:-
29. O Lord, if, considering all these innumerable faults of mine You reject me saying that I do not deserve to be given refuge at Your feet, then know that I am lost now itself out of the fear of lack of a protector. Will the village accept an unfavorable son who has been rejected by his mother herself?
30. Either all my past and future sins should be forgiven, or my mind which is inclined towards evil actions should be instructed (by You to proceed in the right way). It is not proper for You, O Lord, to reject one who has surrendered at Your lotus feet in unsurpassed anguish and who has placed all his burden on You.
31. You are omniscient, an ocean of boundless compassion, of infinite power. Why do you not have consideration for me who am immersed in the ocean of suffering? If You uplift one creature, though a sinner, who is intensely miserable necause of suffering, how will that be too much, O Shiva?
32. O Lord, has anyone made unavailable the path of surrender to You in the form “uplift me who am tormented by extreme suffering and am without any recourse”, O Protector of the helpless! (The idea is that this path is always available). What method of prayer greater than this can I adopt? Considering the actual state of things, save me immediately by Your compassion. (The path of total surrender is stressed as superior to the other paths).
33. This miserable one has been subjected to wandering (through innumerable births) so long. I am tired and without any means of escape, O Lord. Now I should be released by You. What do You gain by beating this miserable monkey who does not know what should and what should not be done and seeing him baring his teeth?
34. O Lord, what have You gained by binding me with the rope of delusion to mother, father, son and others and throwing me into the ocean of transmigratory existence? Why is it that Your benevolent compassion has not fallen on me who have been suffering so long? It is only my fate.
35. O Father, You enjoy secretly the treasure of bliss that is the common property of both of us, taking on the role of a mendicant and separating me by maya. You who are the maker and the controller of the rules of contact for the whole world, say whether such a separation (of me) is proper. Unite me with You.
Note- The jiva (individual human being) is none other than 465 Brahman and so his nature is bliss, but because of maya he does not know it. This is what is meant by saying that he has been separated by maya. The poet prays for liberation.
36. If You decide not to lift me out of the ocean of repeated births, then let me be born as any creature. But let all my future bodies be blessed by the incomparable bliss of contact with the dust of the feet of Your devotees.
37. Worms, mountains, trees and what else are not there in the places where the gentle breeze brings in the fragrance of Your lotus feet! Create me who am wallowing in this river of the embers of samsara as one of these (again and again) until You are satisfied. O Lord shiva, Remover of the suffering of the weak.
38. O Indwelling Self of all! When, at the time of my death, I am suffering countless internal pangs and the throats of those around me are choked by grief on seeing my breathing becoming faint, let my self be united with Your two feet (let me attain liberation).
39. O One with matted hair! Without seeing those dear to me whose eyes are filled with tears of grief and without hearing the sound of weeping of the frightened ones in front of me and without feelng the pain caused by departing life, let my self merge in Your two feet at the last moment of my life, O Indwelling Self! (The poet prays that at the time of his death his mind should be so totally absorbed in the Lord that he does not see, hear or feel anything else.)
40. I see in my mind Your supreme form with Your lotus face with a charming smile, with the crescent moon on Your
forehead, that defeats the beauty of a garland of jasmine buds, sitting on a throne of gems with the Daughter of the Mountain, beyond the worlds, ever bestowing auspiciousness.
41. O Pashupati, may I see some time in dream Your two feet which have the splendor of lotuses in full bloom! Where am I, a sinner and where is the good fortune to see Your feet! Still, Your well known compassion induces this hope in me.
42. O KapAlin! Act as a mendicant on the cremation ground or roam about with the Bhutas. This entire conduct of Yours, which is like that of one who wishes to mislead, is well known. You are the Lord of all beings from Vishnu and Brahma downward. O Lord, I will not forsake Your lotus feet even in dream.
43. Let it be that Your unguent is only ash, Your abode is the cremation ground, and Your ornaments are always only bones. But, O Lord, even Lord Brahma cannot deny Your lordliness which is established by all the shrutis.
44. Let the arthavAdAs (statements of praise) in the Vedas attribute various kinds of merits to the other gods who are of limited power and glory. O Lord with the crescent moon on Your forehead! That way how many lords of the world are being (wrongly) imagined as superior to You!
45. O Paramashiva! Sport in the cremation ground or in an abode beyond the universe, or on the Silver Mountain
(Kailasa), or in the valley of gems. Make me the servant of those who carry Your sacred sandals and bless me with
proximity to You.
46. The strength or weakness of these weak ones (the various gods) may be a matter of discussion among those whose
object is only to spend the time, O Lord Shiva! For us, what has been established by Brahma and others after delving into the secrets of the scriptures is what is valid.
47. I do not consider anything in the three worlds to be worthy of being desired. O Bhagavan, let me have happiness or sorrow as destined. Let my mind always rest on Your two feet which excel the splendour of the inside of a lotus in full bloom.
48. After having been repeatedly engaged in composing various works of a low order with the sole object of earning my livelihood, I am now offering at Your lotus feet only the remnants of praise and thus I have become guilty, O Father!
49. O Sadashiva, forgive all my transgressions. Uplift this one submerged in the ocean of suffering. I, helpless and with no other refuge, surrender at Your lotus feet alone with all my heart, O Lord.
50. O Bhagavan, though this AtmArpanastuti has been composed by me without my mind being totally concentrated on You, protect me, O Abode of Compassion, considering that this helpless, miserable one is surrendering to You at least by words.
End of AtmArpanastuti
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