(THE INFINITY OF BLISS IN CIVAN)
1) Sever’d from Thee I cannot live.
I, false, am sever’d from the flowr’y feet that, entering here,
made my soul melt, distilling nectar sweet.
Yet I, poor wretch, die not as yet; but, in a waking dream,
the inner purpose of my soul I’ve lost.
O Teacher,- King, – Great Sea of grace, – Father,- Whose roseate form
Ayan and Mal could never come to know,-
I know not what to do, O CIVAN, Thou Who didst draw near
IN SACRED PERUN-TURRAI’S SHRINE TO DWELL! || 4 ||
2) Still I wander here.
Ant-hills were they, and trees were they; water and air
their food; thus heavenly ones, and others too,
Were sore distress, but none Thy flow’ry feet beheld,
O King! Me, mastered with a single word,
Thou held’st erewhile. I pant not now, nor melt in mind subdued;
I feel no love devout; this loveless frame
I’ve not subdued; I wander yet, CIVAN, Who didst draw near
IN SACRED PERUN-TURRAI’S SHRINE TO DWELL! || 8 ||
3) Where are my old joys?
Ev’n me, the meanest one, Thou didst as thing of worth regard,
and gav’st Thy grace; and giving mad’st me glad.
I trod on air, O Rider of the Steed! _Author of good!
To all heaven’s countless hosts the Dwelling-place!
Eternal One! Who atest poison from the billowy sea!
The cities of Thy foes Thou didst consume!
Bowman! -Command that I should die,- CIVAN, Who didst draw near
AND DWELL’ST IN SACRED PERUN-TURRAI’S SHRINE! || 12 ||
4) Why didst Thou make me Thine?
Thy loving ones, and those who wrought hard deeds of penitence,
Ayan and Mal too, joyous, melted then
Like wax before the fire, thinking on me; while many a one
here stood around! Why didst Thou make me Thine?
My mind was like the gnarl’d and knotted tree; like senseless wood
my eye; harder than iron my dull ear.
Thou rul’st the south-shore! Lord of Civa-world, Who didst draw near
IN SACRED PERUN-TURRAI’S SHRINE TO DWELL! || 16 ||
5) I know no other gods but Thee.
I’ve left the law of ‘sportive gods.’ In love I neared Thee, named
Thee ‘Teacher’;- in Thy gracious way I’ll ‘bide.
O Being rare,- Whom ev’n the ‘earth-born gods’ find out,- that Thee
I may not quit, O Ruler, show me grace!
Show me Thy jewell’d feet, O God; body’s illusions all
be by Thy grace for ever swept away.
Lord of the gods that rule the ‘evolving gods’! CIVAN, our God
WHO DWELL’ST IN SACRED PERUN-TURRAI’S SHRINE! || 20 ||
6) I cannot endure this severance
I loose not body’s bonds, nor enter fire to end the strife;
nor know the method of Thy sacred grace.
I cannot bear this ‘frame’; yet way to ‘scape I none discern.
Praise, praise, Thou Rider on the warlike bull!
I die not yet! sever’d from Thee what pleasure can I take?
In grace vouchsafe to bid me, ‘This do thou!’
CIVAN, Who didst draw near where waters flood the fertile fields,
AND DWELL’ST IN SACRED PERUN-TURRAI’S SHRINE! || 24 ||
VII. I am not worthy, yet hear my voice!
Illusionst; Who at’st the poison from the refluent sea;-
heaven’s Lord; our azure-throated Balm of life!
A cur, I cannot ponder Thee, nor bow me at Thy foot,
‘Nama-Civaya’ humbly breathing out!
Vile as a demon I, – show me Thy mighty way, Thou o’er
Whose braided lock wanders the crescent moon,-
Beseems it far from Thee I roaming weep? CIVAN, Who cam’st
IN SACRED PERUN-TURRAI’S SHRINE TO DWELL! || 28 ||
VIII. Can my sufferings be pleasing to Thee?
Ayan who in the lotus dwells, the Sleeper on the warring sea,
Purandaran, and all the rest, stood round.
From dregs of ill Thou mad’st me clean, showing Thy jewell’d feet;
didst give the sign, and with Thy servants join!
Then sore amazed I knew not what to do. Balm of my soul,
and is it sweet Thy servant suffer pain?
CIVAN, Who didst draw nigh where cooling waers flow around the fields,
AND DWELL’ST IN SACRED PERUN-TURRAI’S SHRINE! || 32 ||
IX. Is there no place for me among Thy saints?
Indra, the Four-faced, and the heavenly Ones stood round,- on earth
with tender sweetness then Thou mad’st me Thine,-
Thou of the flow’ry Foot, that took the life from Death;
Ganga is Thine; the fire burns in Thy hand;
And Mal, in triumph-songs, to that same flower-foot sings;
command me too, whose eye sees not, to come!
Bright flow the flow’ry streams around the fields where CIVAN came.
IN SACRED PERUN-TURRAI’S SHRINE TO DWELL! || 36 ||
X. I languish thinking on heavenly joys
In tender grace Thou cam’st and bad’st me come, didst banish fear;
then in Thy grace’s mighty sea I plunged.
I drank, was sated; now I melt no more, – CIVAN, Who cam’st
IN SACRED PERUN-TURRAI’S SHRINE TO DWELL!
He who the armlet wears, and flowery Ayan know Thee not,
heaven’s Lord, sole Partner of the Mountain-Maid!
I wilder’d stand, while rising swells the mighty joy, – O SEA
WHOSE WATERS REST ON KAILAI’S LOFTY HILL! || 40 ||